Redneck Woman.....

Spent the weekend up north opening up the cottage and getting back to my roots. No, not the dark ones on my head, but the "where I come from type." Doin' the spring ritual of getting the place ready for another summer and fall of beachy, country fun.

Unlike our rather large city home, the beach house is a mere 440 square feet place. 440 square feet of paradise, it is often called. It can be cleaned in about 2 hours. I find it's small area comfortable and certainly unpretentious. Spit shined, debugged and staple stocked, it's all a go! Made a list for things to bring next weekend of all that I forgot or didn't know I would need.

Now, at home, I would barely walk to the mailbox without mascara, but up north I subscribe to a much less stringent beauty routine. With hair curling naturally (wild) and face shower shiny, (read--no makeup) I raked and burned stuff in the bonfire pit (outside!) while enjoying a beer. At 11:30 ayem. No fine wine in sight! Just to get into the spirit of things. Put the county selection on my ipod and enjoyed the music I rarely listen to anymore. Classic Glen Campbell rocked me. I can get weepy just listening to "Wichita Lineman" to this day. But I digress.

I just love to play in a bonfire and looked forward as a kid to fall, when we built huge leaf fires--a childhood joy that the city does not allow. But in the country, I guess it's okay. Note to self: Add marshmallows, graham crackers and Hershey bars to the grocery list.

Got the 4 wheeler gassed and ready to rock for visits to our friends and rides thru the fields and woods and on the beach. Sorta my up north car. I went to a lovely wedding shower for our friend Erin, and enjoyed Ivan's YUMMY barbecued chicken. Heard he has a brand new calf and lots of new kittens that I will get to meet next weekend. Yay!

We descended on our friend Shawn's bar and were greeted by our local buddies like we were rock stars--and our only hit was, "We Haven't Seen Y'all in Six Months!" But now we are back, so set 'em up and can we get some of that delicious cheese bread, too?

Upon leaving, I noticed that the wind had turned and the night air was almost balmy and the sky was full of stars--pinpoint clear. Every year around this time, I vow to be able to name at least 5 of the uncommon constellations, to gain me some cred some night around the bonfire. One of these fine days.

Although sleeping in is allowed--and even encouraged, I seem to pop up like a crazy weasel eager to start the day. I like to make coffee and stare at the lake. Have seen deer and foxes strolling the beach, and many times, they have seen me too. I love entering the day that way. So much different than the city, where I charge out, mug in hand, playing beat the clock for one appointment or another.

As the weekend winds down and it's time to pack up, I am always happy to resume my "regular life" in the city with it's crazywild pace. But do I enjoy the lazy, slow, country weekends? Four wheelin', beer drinkin', bonfire parties? Hell, yeah!! (that last part is said in a loud voice with my fist pumpin' in the air or accompanied by a 12oz. toast!) xoxo Happy Birthday to my sister, Lisa, who will be enjoying the day at the Tigers game. Have a great one, and Go Tigers! xxoo

Bad Girls......

I have a bumper sticker on Ruby Dee that proclaims, "Women who behave rarely make history." It suits Ruby perfectly and it has been alluded to that it is my personal credo. No illusions necessary here--I totally own it. Misbehaving a little, makes everything more fun. Just makes the ordinary a little edgier.

The fact that women have historically had to misbehave to be noticed doesn't mean they didn't have fun while they were at it. Take Coco Chanel. Back in the day, she did the wild misdeed of designing pants for women! Gasp. Later when she revealed her bisexuality, her infamy was sealed. Y'all remember Lizzie Borden? We had childhood rhymes about her--very bad indeed. I love the er... balls of Lady Godiva, a personal heroine of mine. Girl had something to say and implored the oldest trick in the book to make 'em notice. Nudity. On a horse. I love it and have always fantasized it as the perfect Halloween (un) costume. Sigh..... Then there is Mae West--surely the one of the bad girls. Totally misbehaving. Openly provocative and suggestive behavior alone has earned her a place in history, with dozens of appropriate quotes gleaned, no doubt, from her vast experience. That's what I call workin' the store! Another favorite being Mrs. Robinson--the ultimate and original "cougar". Anyone who has known me for a minute will know that to this affront, I say, "you go, girl." Cleopatra could be remembered for either her complete spellbinding of Julius Caesar or her death by that evil asp. Either way she never smudged her perfect eyeliner. Belle Starr gets the nod for her fraternizing with Frank and Jesse and made no apologies for her cowboy boots and chaps. Badass. Way cool. And just a little dangerous. Marie Antoinette, poor child, could hardly be blamed for the fall of the empire. Poor child just wanted to eat cake, for goodness sake. But who can forget her many indulgences and mile high hair? Medusa had only her beauty to blame when she was unjustly punished for her affair with Poseidon. We all know how that worked for her. SNAKES!!! Lord love a duck--that's freaky! And pretty memorable. Donna Summer's hit would never have sounded even a little bit remarkable if it had went something like this--toot, toot, awww beep, beep. GOOD girls, talkin' bout the GOOD girls.....not even. What's to talk about? Of course, I could go on and on.

So all you good girls gone bad just remember what our girl, Mae had to say, "It pays to be good--it just doesn't pay much." Welcome home, Rose, my sometimes partner in "misbehaving." xoxo

Counting Blue Cars.......

Happy Easter to everyone! I am currently on the sofa, enjoying a (semi) food coma while pondering some very important things. Sister in law extraordinaire, Cheryl, did it up with a wonderful dinner. So now I'm too lazy to take a walk or do anything productive so some useless brain strain is about as strenuous as it's gonna get. Maybe I'll just solve the worlds mysteries and get it over with...

Burning question #732. Can someone please explain to me why Major Nelson would never let Jeannie use some of her powers to make their lives easier? My God, all that messing around with NASA when Jeannie just had to fold her arms and nod her head and your wish was her command. What an uptight putz. And then he gets to go on and act the role of that bad ass, J.R. Ewing. Boggling. And even more perplexing--will I ever, before I die, be thin enough to wear that cute costume for Halloween?


And why does anyone suppose that ANYONE cares what Donnie Osmond's 'greatest fear' is? Ya gotta be kiddin' me. I bet it's that this insane gravy train he's ridin' on FINALLY derails. I'm just sayin'....


Why after all these years, (do I have to say how many?) that Michigan weather STILL confounds me? I put away all my winter garb on April 01, as always, in anticipation of spring, only to freeze my cookies off a week later off in open-toe heels on a 20 degree night. In two inches of fresh snow. C'mon idiot--learn already! (on second thought, maybe Michelle (Michelle's Spell) could answer that for me. I fear we suffer the same conundrum.)


Why do I have to spot the biggest possum I've ever seen in my life on my back porch eating food I put out for the local stray kitty? All those years in northern Michigan and I have to move to the city to see one that is the size of a small pig. Gross. P.E.T.A be damed, I want that thing DEAD. (or at least at some other kitty's buffet) Get to steppin' ugly rat beady eyed thing.

Which feels worse: being too hungry or being too full? Although I experienced both today, I still can't answer that. Dinner, Oreo cake, and a Cadbury Cream egg, all mean more treadmill time tomorrow. So maybe being too full. But the hungry sucked too...... I got nuthin'

And lastly, how could anyone love someone enough to suffer a painful and humiliating death to save them? I know of only one person. And on this day especially, I will take the time to consider one of the greatest questions of all. Happy Easter to everyone and take time to enjoy the miracle. xoxo

When the Lights go Down in the City.........

Whoo Hoo! I am back on home turf after my week in San Francisco. Just a quick overview if you haven't had the pleasure of a visit there.

I had a wonderful time and enjoyed as much as possible of what the city has to offer. Our government funded hotel was posh and very centrally located. We rode the cable cars to Fisherman's Wharf--however we did not do the cheeseball tourist thing and sing the Rice a Roni song. At Pier 39 we saw hundreds of sea lions sunning themselves on rafts in the water. Ate saltwater taffy till I got a stomach ache.

I always aspire to look like a local when visiting a new city, but the camera and ugly tennis shoes give it away. Me, who can run a 5k in heels, had to ditch 'em and resort to the dead giveaways to navigate those hills. Eww.w.w.w.w. It pains me.

Saw Alcatraz from shore cuz the waves were too much for me on the night of the cruise. I had a perfectly good view from my stool by the window visiting with some waiters and a bartender on a slow Thursday night. I loved Chinatown. Twice we trekked up that very steep hill to enjoy the smells and sights of area. Shopping there is a trip--a very cheap one! Actually purchased some real cool stuff.

Didn't have time to visit the Haight or Napa Valley, but that just means I've got to go back. I have also offered babysitting service if my friends ever want to get away. Hope they take me up on the offer!

And the food--ahhhhhh. Loved it. Just caught seafood and sushi. Fresh sourdough bread and local wine is a woman's dream dinner. And I totally enjoyed the indulgence.

I seem to be attracted to cities on the bay, like SFO and Boston, the Keys and even Michigan. The boats, views, and fresh seafood gets me every time. SFO really has that public transportation thing worked out. You would never need a car. Buses go everywhere for $1.50. BART transpo and air trains and cable cars, too.

I spent two afternoons visiting my friends and their darling daughters. Had a great time catching up and getting to know the children. Gary's sister, LeAnne was visiting also-- a very cool surprise. We had lunch and then Cosmos, as we toured the Castro. Pomegranate martinis are the whip, Babe. Thanks, Gary for your hospitality. It means so much to me. Your home is warm and lovely, and the children are so lucky to have found you and Dwayne. xo

The weather is very temperate--not too hot and not too cold. Sunglasses and sweaters are the norm. The flowers bloom most of the year. People seem very Eco-aware. The walking and maybe the fresh food choices made everyone (in general) look healthy.

Our hotel backed up into the notorious Tenderloin district. So, daily we were harassed by the local street people for food and money. We handed over our leftovers and many dollars too. I was told by a local that I had coffee with at an outside cafe two mornings, that I am an easy mark for the scammers. Sigh. Maybe I just like to share, I said.

So, if it interests you, and you can sit thru the long flight--by all means go. There is something for everyone, and I for one, can't wait to go back. And...of course I can't resist...... wait for it.....sing along with me now, "I Left my Heart, in San Francisco.......xoxo P.S. A heartfelt prayer of sympathy for my dear friend Jeannie, who lost her Dad after a brave struggle. Peace to you. xoxoxo OH! A special thank you to my sissy in law, Cheryl, for letting me tag along. As always, you are simply the BEST! Luv u. xoxo