It's My Party.....

So I had a birthday. A BIG one. Always one to keep 'em low key and fuss less, (read: NO PARTY!) this particular one was no different. MY rules. Or so I thought. The calls came in like crazy from friends and family with everyone expressing sympathy and support. A few (drunken!) songs were sung and my darling Emily, age 3, called to wish me a happy birthday, as no day is more important in a three year olds eyes. Some birthday e-mails from my more efficient techie friends. I have a pile of cards that never fail to tickle me. My 94 year young granny sends hers with a return address that simply says "Grandma". It strengthens my resolve every year to be more prompt sending cards cuz it's really cool to receive them on THE day, instead of a week or two late, which is sometimes my style. I recommend one of those calendar books with monthly pouches that hold the appropriate cards--you just have to remember to check it now an then!!! But the biggest surprise--and I usually HATE this sort of thing.... was walking into El Charo to meet my friend Rose, only to be greeted by a small party for a "Sex and the City" themed get together. (Smile and deep breaths, here). She recruited two other friends and it was margaritas around. Cosmos do not work with the Mexicano thing. There were toasts and delicious taste treats. Age comments were kept to a minimum. Rose treated me to a darling personal cake in my favorite flavors. The gifts were sweet and generous. It was truly fun. Now, I am not sure why I get the creepies at the thought of any party--surprise or otherwise--where I am the center of attention. Never having been one to shy away and have rarely "blended in" at any other time in my life, I rather prefer to control my own spotlight. And, I guess it's the old catholic guilt thing rearing it's sometimes ugly head but I just have a hard time when someone deems me worthy of such attention. My Mom is like that too, so I get it honest. It's okay for us to DO nice things, but it's hard to accept them back, along with the perceived pressure attached. This can range from compliments on our appearances to our cooking. Why? It's like some weird form of self flattery or denial or something. Buried under layers of old piousness or self sacrificing. In this world of self indulgence, it strikes me as a very dated ideal. Mine, nonetheless. Anyhoo, the revelry went into the evening with more food, drinks, toasts, gifts, etc. All thoughtful and designed for me. Arriving home tipsy and full, I realized that sometimes letting go of the control is nice and it's okay to give into it. Some things like birthdays are meant to be out of our control and for just one day, I let others do it their way for me. And this old girl LOVED it! Thanks to all of you that respected my NO PARTY wishes. Everything else you said and did was just perfect..Love to you all..xoxoxoxo