Counting Blue Cars.......

Happy Easter to everyone! I am currently on the sofa, enjoying a (semi) food coma while pondering some very important things. Sister in law extraordinaire, Cheryl, did it up with a wonderful dinner. So now I'm too lazy to take a walk or do anything productive so some useless brain strain is about as strenuous as it's gonna get. Maybe I'll just solve the worlds mysteries and get it over with...

Burning question #732. Can someone please explain to me why Major Nelson would never let Jeannie use some of her powers to make their lives easier? My God, all that messing around with NASA when Jeannie just had to fold her arms and nod her head and your wish was her command. What an uptight putz. And then he gets to go on and act the role of that bad ass, J.R. Ewing. Boggling. And even more perplexing--will I ever, before I die, be thin enough to wear that cute costume for Halloween?


And why does anyone suppose that ANYONE cares what Donnie Osmond's 'greatest fear' is? Ya gotta be kiddin' me. I bet it's that this insane gravy train he's ridin' on FINALLY derails. I'm just sayin'....


Why after all these years, (do I have to say how many?) that Michigan weather STILL confounds me? I put away all my winter garb on April 01, as always, in anticipation of spring, only to freeze my cookies off a week later off in open-toe heels on a 20 degree night. In two inches of fresh snow. C'mon idiot--learn already! (on second thought, maybe Michelle (Michelle's Spell) could answer that for me. I fear we suffer the same conundrum.)


Why do I have to spot the biggest possum I've ever seen in my life on my back porch eating food I put out for the local stray kitty? All those years in northern Michigan and I have to move to the city to see one that is the size of a small pig. Gross. P.E.T.A be damed, I want that thing DEAD. (or at least at some other kitty's buffet) Get to steppin' ugly rat beady eyed thing.

Which feels worse: being too hungry or being too full? Although I experienced both today, I still can't answer that. Dinner, Oreo cake, and a Cadbury Cream egg, all mean more treadmill time tomorrow. So maybe being too full. But the hungry sucked too...... I got nuthin'

And lastly, how could anyone love someone enough to suffer a painful and humiliating death to save them? I know of only one person. And on this day especially, I will take the time to consider one of the greatest questions of all. Happy Easter to everyone and take time to enjoy the miracle. xoxo

When the Lights go Down in the City.........

Whoo Hoo! I am back on home turf after my week in San Francisco. Just a quick overview if you haven't had the pleasure of a visit there.

I had a wonderful time and enjoyed as much as possible of what the city has to offer. Our government funded hotel was posh and very centrally located. We rode the cable cars to Fisherman's Wharf--however we did not do the cheeseball tourist thing and sing the Rice a Roni song. At Pier 39 we saw hundreds of sea lions sunning themselves on rafts in the water. Ate saltwater taffy till I got a stomach ache.

I always aspire to look like a local when visiting a new city, but the camera and ugly tennis shoes give it away. Me, who can run a 5k in heels, had to ditch 'em and resort to the dead giveaways to navigate those hills. Eww.w.w.w.w. It pains me.

Saw Alcatraz from shore cuz the waves were too much for me on the night of the cruise. I had a perfectly good view from my stool by the window visiting with some waiters and a bartender on a slow Thursday night. I loved Chinatown. Twice we trekked up that very steep hill to enjoy the smells and sights of area. Shopping there is a trip--a very cheap one! Actually purchased some real cool stuff.

Didn't have time to visit the Haight or Napa Valley, but that just means I've got to go back. I have also offered babysitting service if my friends ever want to get away. Hope they take me up on the offer!

And the food--ahhhhhh. Loved it. Just caught seafood and sushi. Fresh sourdough bread and local wine is a woman's dream dinner. And I totally enjoyed the indulgence.

I seem to be attracted to cities on the bay, like SFO and Boston, the Keys and even Michigan. The boats, views, and fresh seafood gets me every time. SFO really has that public transportation thing worked out. You would never need a car. Buses go everywhere for $1.50. BART transpo and air trains and cable cars, too.

I spent two afternoons visiting my friends and their darling daughters. Had a great time catching up and getting to know the children. Gary's sister, LeAnne was visiting also-- a very cool surprise. We had lunch and then Cosmos, as we toured the Castro. Pomegranate martinis are the whip, Babe. Thanks, Gary for your hospitality. It means so much to me. Your home is warm and lovely, and the children are so lucky to have found you and Dwayne. xo

The weather is very temperate--not too hot and not too cold. Sunglasses and sweaters are the norm. The flowers bloom most of the year. People seem very Eco-aware. The walking and maybe the fresh food choices made everyone (in general) look healthy.

Our hotel backed up into the notorious Tenderloin district. So, daily we were harassed by the local street people for food and money. We handed over our leftovers and many dollars too. I was told by a local that I had coffee with at an outside cafe two mornings, that I am an easy mark for the scammers. Sigh. Maybe I just like to share, I said.

So, if it interests you, and you can sit thru the long flight--by all means go. There is something for everyone, and I for one, can't wait to go back. And...of course I can't resist...... wait for it.....sing along with me now, "I Left my Heart, in San Francisco.......xoxo P.S. A heartfelt prayer of sympathy for my dear friend Jeannie, who lost her Dad after a brave struggle. Peace to you. xoxoxo OH! A special thank you to my sissy in law, Cheryl, for letting me tag along. As always, you are simply the BEST! Luv u. xoxo

Thru the Fire.........

Happy Sunday all. Hope this finds you doing the on the seventh day you rest thing. We cannot be expected to 'create' everyday! On this day you can find me once again flyin' the (hopefully) friendly skies--destination San Francisco, where I will be for a week. My beautiful sister in law, Cheryl, has a work conference there and invited me to tag along. My friends Gary and Dwayne and their 2 precious daughters are there too, so I plan to visit and kiss the cheeks off of all of them!

Meanwhile back at the ranch, I recently viewed the movie 'Transsiberian'. Fast paced and suspenseful, the movie shows you how easily things can get out of control with devastating results. The once elegant Transsiberian has fallen to ruin and is more of a transport for anything but glamorous travelers. I found the scenery breathtaking--albeit a little snowy--and exotic. I don't want to give much more away, because I urge you to see it.

The lead female character, Jesse, quotes Tennessee Williams with his famous, "kill all my demons and my angels might die too."uijjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj/.j-,{MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMPZXAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA{M (This last piece of the quote was contributed by Lola, who chose to light on my keyboard when I took a little break.) Naturally, the beauty of the quote with it's angels and demons implications attracted my interest. I understood it in Jesse's situation, but wanted to think of the idea a little deeper.

Is it as simple as understanding our human duality? With the good comes the bad? If it was possible to kill what haunts us, would the quality that makes us human die too? Demons and angels are sometimes not that far apart. A simple choice or quick decision can be all that separates them. After all, the devil, Lucifer, was once God's favorite angel. There was just that one little hitch in that Lucifer considered himself above his master, a sin that got him tossed out of paradise. He remains in his own inferno trying to lure us in. Can we balance the two without killing either of these qualities and disturbing the amalgam that is us? And would we want to? Seems we were created this way as a test, to be forgiven some of the small infractions. I think the best we can do is walk the line or at least try to straddle it. It's a given that we will fall. And our personal demons that haunt us, sometime are beyond our power to heal.

Personally, I would not be me without a little "devil". I like to indulge in most of the seven deadly sins and sometimes do not feel the urge to repent for this. It's simply the temptation that is part of life. Without that basic humanity, it would be hard to be even interesting. And what would I go on and on about on 'the jspot'? Looking forward to hearing from all you wonderful angels and devils. xoxoxo

Ask any Mermaid.....

Like the rock stars we are, we survived the "Sloth, Indulgence, and Debauchery 09" tour with a minimum of injury. Oh yea, you had your basic run of the mill injuries such as, sunburn, testy livers, dipping B.A.C. levels, etc. and more dangerously-- embedded fishhooks, crab claw pinched fingers and mysterious bodily bruises. There was even some talk of the liver being evil and needing to be punished--if that tells ya anything! Key West on St. Paddy's Day took care of that dilemma. But, now I am home. I am spending the weekend on re-entry. Laundry, restocking the larder, perusing a bag of newspapers and bills and reuniting with the pets and Ruby Dee. Nothing feels better than coming home to your own bed. The condo just doesn't yet feel like home to me. Not enough routine, I guess. Lola has been letting me use her for a pillow and her contented purring is the perfect white noise for dreamland. And Mickey almost threw out his back wagging his tail in joy! As always, it's good to get away and even better to get home. Got my lazy ass to the gym a pushed my way thru boot camp.

While checking out a keys resale store, I happened upon the book, "The Mermaid Chair". I've been wanting to read it for some time, but was too cheap to buy it. I hurried to the pool with my treasure and indulged to my hearts content! I love Sue Monk Kidd's writing style and had to know just what a 'mermaid's chair' was. Turns out that the story was so realistic, it had me checking to see if there really is a patron saint that was once a mermaid. Wiki says no, but I just love the idea. It would be so cool to give weight to one of my favorite of romantic legends. I have always had a fascination of the woman/fish and her mythical power over men. Of course, she has that power because she doesn't really need a man for anything. Independence is liberating even in the ocean! Keeps her amused and the men who adore her perplexed. Perfect.

So, how do us seaside mermaids stand a chance? Are we able to learn anything from her technique? It's easy. All we have to do is be gloriously beautiful with luminous sea glass green eyes and flowing locks to our tiny waists. Between our perfect breasts will be nestled a necklace of pearls and shells. We have to sing like the angels and call the boys to us with our ethereal tune. We then mesmerize and lure them into the water for our special mating ritual. And when they are sufficiently hooked, we ask nothing of them, and just simply swim away. Ta ta for now! Sort of an oceanic use of the old use 'em and abuse 'em theme. Some girls have it all figured out. Working the beauty to our own means. Loving all of the good times without the responsibility of the bad. You men would be the easy part, it's just our hangups that prevent us from being our own mythical legends. Unfortunately, here on shore there is a different word for it..... P.S. enjoy the spring weather that is finally upon us. xoxo

Fight for your Right.....

Hello mellow fellows! Here is my attempt at some Dr. Seuss/Snoop Dogg-like stuff. Both fantastic wordsmiths in their own right! It is a true reflection of my current mood....

Gees Louise! It is the ease of keys breeze on the seas, not unlike Belize, that I sees, that brings me to my knees. Please. It frees me and perpetuates the keys disease. Sneeze and wheeze you tease. These bees and fleas make me freeze. Eat crackers and cheese. And peas. Your a sleaze. A trapeze in the trees? Seize. Kisseeze and Hugeeze. xo

P.S. Eric, I can handle those crazy Key West guys! I've been partyin' with 'em for years! PPSS--WM, I still want to hear your Key West tales!

Disturbia.....

Spring forward all y'all! It's coming, it's coming! Chuck Gaidaca says so! My lily's are pushing thru, so it must be true. First of all I want to thank my usual guys (you know who you are) for your helpful comments on "Three Egg Day." I appreciate and try to heed every suggestion. JR, I used the word 'toasty' because I thought it was a word a 15 year old would use. Maybe?

Anyhoo. Spent Saturday inside packing and paying up bills and getting ready for our annual March migration to the Key's. Temps are supposed to be in the low '80's and I can't wait to warm up my bones. And this damned dampness just aggravates my asthma. Today was spent venturing out to pick up a few last minute supplies necessary for throwing a little pre-vay cay throw down. As if we needed an early start to 10 days of sloth, indulgence, and debauchery! As if. Then catching a matinee of "Taken" was next on the agenda. The flick came highly recommended by a couple of movie fanatic friends of mine, so thought it deserved a check out. Liam Neeson is one of my favorite actors with a face that is so capable of expression. And he didn't let me down. The plot--without giving it away--is a little shoot 'em up and car chase for my taste, but it was so suspenseful that I was able to tolerate it. I swear my heart rate was up in cardio zone most of the time. Not real relaxing, but exciting in that action packed sorta way. I didn't realize that those kind of 'tools' that Liam's character had were even in existence. But I liked it. You'll have to see the flick yourself to understand what I am talkin' about.

The story of the movie begs the question, would you let your seventeen year old daughter (or son) travel unescorted to a foreign country? No siree, I would not. No amount of begging or pressure would make me succumb. It just seems too risky for anyone that age and I know what I was up to at 17. You THINK you know everything, but the fact of the matter is that you don't know what you don't know. And single women can be targets, well, at the local Target for example. I once had a guy tell me that when he got close up to me I was very beautiful. (Most definitely a stop at Optimeyes was in order.) Uh, okay, sure, now move along. That's right, get to steppin'. After shopping, while walking to my car, the same dipshit grabbed my arm and asked me for a ride to the nearest mall. I told him that I wasn't going that way and I don't give rides to strangers--even if I were. I made it into my car, while he muttered "effen' bitch", hit my windshield, and then flipped me off. Guess all my 'beauty' had lost it's charm. Classy dude. And all of this locally and in broad daylight. Which begs another question. Where are the PoPo when ya need 'em? Probably saw 3 between there and home. Don't know why I seem to be a magnet for these fruit loops, but there you have it. I have a dumb trusting nature and still believe in the inherent goodness of people, so that could be it.

Or maybe I just have a big 'tar-zhay' on my forehead. xoxo.....

Baby, It's Cold Outside.......

Hi All, Here is another attempt. I've tried to follow some of the ideas you gave me. Let me know if this reads better. Thanks in advance. I am calling this one, "Two Egg Day"

Tossing back her long, dishwater blond mane, Annie stepped out of the house that morning. Snow was falling lightly, and she enjoyed the clean smell of it. She clutched a still warm hard boiled egg in each hand as she walked to the bus stop. Precious cargo considering they would be all she had to eat for the next 12 hours. It was 22 degrees and the warmth felt good thru her mittens. With any luck her hands would stay that way for the half mile walk and she could get on the toasty bus.

The small bowl of cottage cheese would keep Annie full till lunchtime and then she could peel and eat the first of the eggs, while others ate the usual greasy cafeteria fare. Because of her 'sweet tooth', the smell of hot cinnamon rolls was the hardest thing for her to handle and her mouth watered hopelessly. A friend clued her in on the fact that Juicy Fruit gum had only 7 calories a stick, so that would have to do for now. Thursdays at 3:00 was the weekly weigh in for the upcoming gymnastic meet and she really needed to make weight. The much worked on floor ex routine would not be debuted on Saturday if she didn't. And even if she could complete all the necessary tricks on the mat, the judges favored and thus scored higher the tinier bodies that were more aesthetic to the sport. And after all, high scores and placing in the top 3 gave her school's team the win.

Her sturdy body weighed much more than it looked with muscle weighing more than fat and all--a fact the coach didn't seem to take into consideration. There were a few girls on the team that didn't have to worry at all, their frames already stunted to childlike proportions by the rigors of years of training. Others would resort to much more desperate means other than the starvation method that Annie chose. The fact that she was starting to develop and finally, at 15, had gotten her period was no help either. Around 2:00 a light practice would start in the gym until the line up for the scale began. Her good friend, Susan was shaking with hunger and fear. "I've just got to make weight, or I will be grounded for sure" she said thru her tears. Annie's stomach was growling so loudly that she could hardly even care. And if she turned her head too fast, she saw stars. Her large hazel eyes wearily eyed her demon. Adjusting her leotard and inhaling deeply, she stepped up on the scale, and by the grace of God, weighed the exact amount the coach deemed right.

Quickly she fled to her locker and shakily peeled and gobbled down the second egg. Thankyou thankyou thankyou she prayed. I'll be better next time. The show would go on for another week.