Cheeseburger in paradise......

Today is our 3rd annual Tiki Bar Party at our beach house. Thankfully, it's a hot, sunny day with only a chance of some afternoon showers. The fliers have been designed and passed out describing the event. Ivan and Cory have generously cleaned up our shoreline, making the view even better than ever. Our neighbors picnic tables and tents have been rounded up. Around 5ish some 50 of our neighbors will descend down our hill on four wheelers, golf carts, etc. and join us on our beach for the festivities. Shawn may even bust out his old "Boss Hog" car. The beer is iced. The tiki bar has been decobwebbed and with Mark's always great tunes, will be rockin', and is a great place to belly up to and observe the day. It will also hold a champagne fountain flowing rum punch. (Heavy on the rum!) Much beer, rum drinks and, of course, the mandatory jello shots will be consumed. Cheryl will helpfully give lessons on the art of proper consumption of said shots, should anyone need assistance. Her execution is perfections!! The beer pong table is ready and our last years champs, the ever cute Nicole and Lauren, are ready to defend their title. Local friend, Lenny, and Randy promise to give them tough competition! We run a 50/50 raffle, but usually give 100% of the take to the winner. The "12'ves" gambling game is available for anyone interested in throwing in a buck. Sometimes a foursome will gather for euchre and will take on all challengers. My hot nephews will provide some eye candy for all and attract the younger crowd of local chickies to giggle at their antics. Matt may even provide a "gun show" after a few brews and a little coaxing. Menu plans do not vary. The Milo brothers will grill sirloin "chee" burgers and the hot dogs and corn on the cob for the gang. Local favorites such as Lori's taco salad and Margits special greens are always anticipated. Potatoes, bean and chips round out our menu. At some point, the Sirius Buffet channel, will switch to the Strobe for some crazy disco music, at which time Kirk can be counted on the bust out some of his moves that were well practiced in his day! And wife, Sue, can be counted on to roll her eyes!! It's hard not to join in for some of us old disco queens. (alright, alright, ME!) Our "moonrise" rivals a keys sunset and is usually bright orange in color. This with watching for satellites, shooting stars, and maybe a drunken inspired UFO sighting are also popular events that can be done with very little exertion from a lawn chair. The bonfire will get big and hot as the night cools off. The s'more fixins' will be brought out and we can argue who makes 'em the best. Sometime later, people will start fading off and maybe even nodding out bonfire side as the party slows down. Done till next years bash. Sunday morning can find us all straggling out to guzzle H2O and compare notes. Some of us will be feeling a little less than great. Clean up goes pretty well with friends showing up to help and reclaim forgotten coolers. The grill gets fired up and leftovers brought out. On full tummies, we are free to nap blissfully with no party worries till next year. Hope y'all can come!! xoxoxo

Oh Maybelline......

It is well documented that I am a crazy pet lover, so on Monday I received heartbreaking news that my sister's Yorkie, Miss Mabel, had narrowly escaped death at the jaws of a vicious Dalmatian. A Dalmatian? You gotta be kiddin' me. I have never thought of those dogs as anything but a hyper, yet docile mascot of the firehouse ilk. Or on the run from Cruella Deville. But, I was wrong. First, let me explain that Mable is an unusual type of Yorkie as she fearlessly swims, walks in the woods, chases squirrels and does many other non typical Yorkie behaviors. She is love able and sweet, neither yappy or snappy. Seems she was innocently swimming and playing with some kids in Hubbard Lake on Sunday, when said Dalmatian charged up out of nowhere to attack poor, unsuspecting little Mabel. Quite a commotion ensued while the owners clubbed the wicked dog with boat oars in an attempt to free Mabel. The Damn-nation finally tired of shaking and biting her, and threw her aside. My sister, Lisa, was able to pick up a distraught and bleeding Mabel, and rush her to the vet. An hour and a half of surgery was needed along with 100 internal stitches to a 9 pound dog. Shaved and weak, she has proved to be a tough little nut that is on the mend. It is still questionable as to whether one of her legs will be okay. Reports today is that she is eating yogurt and turkey and moving around a little. The owners of the devil-nation were concerned but explained that their dog just doesn't like other dogs. WTF? You KNEW this and still let it run without a leash! Idiocy beyond my belief as well as dangerous. Lisa has filed a police report, but who knows what, if anything, will come of it. At the very minimum the asses should be held accountable for the vet fees. Hopefully they will have learned a lesson. So in closing, please send positive, healing thoughts to poor little Miss Mabel. And to her mommy, Lisa. Also, please be a responsible pet owner and make sure your pet has had his shots and is on a leash. xoxoxo

Rock lobster... part deux

It's been a banner year so far. The lobsters are large and plentiful. The stone crabs offer another tasty treat and the picture shows some of the largest claws I've ever seen. You only harvest one of his claws and then throw him back to regenerate another one. Hey you veggie types, enjoy cuz no one has to die!! Locals have turned us on to a delicious mayo and mustard sauce that is the perfect dip for 'em. The weather is gorgeous as usual with very little wind making the water clear and the dives easy. This vaycay is flyin' by. I am totally fiendin' for my precious Lola kitty, and while shopping in Islamorada, I got to love on a rescue kitty, helping my "kitty jones". Spending money while petting a kitty all at the same time. Perfect multitasking effort! I have a big schedule today that includes starting on my third book--another memoir--, maybe some meditation, pool time, and of course mojitos around!! Another chance to showcase my multitasking skills! Tonight we are going to Braza Lena, a Brazilian steak house that has hunky servers serving hunky pieces of grilled meat!! I heard the salad bar is about 3 blocks long. Should be a treat... Whatever your day brings you, relax and find your peace. xoxox

It was a rock lobster......

A laid back hello from the Florida keys. I will be posting from Islamorada where we are enjoying our annual "Lobsterpalooza!" In case you are new to this craziness, its kinda like rifle deer season up north, but with the ocean and MUCH better clothes. Eww to green camo, and yay to beachwear--or just towels. Hey, we are in the keys where anything goes. Less is definitely more--my kinda place! Locally, lobsters are called "bugs" so I say "Bugs Beware" the Michigan Tribe is ascending to harvest you tasty treats! Just a few fun facts--"lobster season", as it is officially known, opens up on August 06 and lasts till March 31, with the best "hunting" done early in the season. Between 750,000 and one million people descend on the Florida Keys annually for the opener. The Caribbean Spiny Lobster is unlike the Maine version as they do not have claws. You only eat the tail of the spiny and the taste resembles the other kind. The spiny grows to full size in 6 months, so they are a more tender, fresher lobster. We go out diving in the ocean or the Gulf of Mexico, in shallow water, which will be around 85 degrees. So in this bathwater, we dive down and use a "tickle stick" and a net to catch the little buggers. You have to tickle 'em out from under coral heads and rocks and then net them. Unfortunately sharks and the dreaded moray eel also find lobster as a tasty treat and so you must be on the watch out for them constantly. Our rat pack has never been bitten or stung even after logging thousands of hours of underwater time. Knock on wood. There are high spirits and camaraderie in our gang along with friendly competition. All of us are trying for "Lobzilla" and the bragging rights that come along with him. It'll be hotter than hell, but with the Keys breeze, it seems more tolerable than the weather we are now experiencing in Michigan. I only go out diving occasionally and prefer to be known as the "sundeck mermaid". Watching from my second floor deck while reading and enjoying a cocktail is way more my speed. I am generally known as a pain in the ass on the boat, anyways. I am a very reluctant participator of rope throwing, anchor pulling, GPS checking etc. No, I remind the others, I do not go on the boat to work and am therefore, much more suited to shore duty. Besides, it's very dangerous to be cocktailing on a boat with waves, and lobster divers and equipment threatening a alcohol tragedy. It's my job to show up dockside with cold beer, or rum drinks, my camera, and a snack for the parched and hungry divers as they arrive. Then it's boat washing and lobster cleaning--all with photo ops and tall (lobster) tales. After showering off the salt water, we either cook in or head out to one of the many area dining establishments for food and more revelry. Watching the gorgeous Keys sunsets while enjoying the catch of the day, and of course, a cocktail, is the religion at hand. The evening ends with a nightcap on the deck and the setting of the alarm for another early departure from the dock. Other activities may include yoga and some walking. I know of a great yoga studio and SHOULD attend a few classes to help keep this vaycay from being a total calorie disaster. There is a local bar that is Michigan owned, so it's fun to go and check out my dear Tigers, too. Sporting anything "Detroit" is fun cuz everyone gives us props for "representin", and respect from those who know Detroit only by it's reputation. I love to set 'em straight regarding our fair city although I don't think anyone ever believes me. Key West awaits with it's usual trove of treasures. Lots of interesting people to be met and beautiful art to view. We usually partake one day and one night of Conch partying and can be found crawling out to our vehicle with only the D.D. lucid enough to make the drive home. The lobster are safe the next morning after all that debauchery. After 10 days of said nuttiness, I will be happy to return home to at least SOME sense of normalcy. Then all that's left is to plan a few lobster themed dinner parties so we can bore our poor friends to death with pictures and our tales of the deep. So if you are interested in lobster dripping in hot butter with maybe some fresh green beans and cornbread, drop by and bring a cold bottle of white wine, we'll try not to bore you to death. Promise....xoxo p.s. Pics to follow!

Take me out to the ballgame.....

A sleepy good morning from this Tiger fan!! Can you believe that my boys hung tough against those Indians to the tune of 13 innings? 12 to 12 in the twelve at 12 minutes after 12? Yeah, baby!!!!! We joke that in our family, baseball is in our DNA. It's practically our religion. My 94 year young Granny Iola still watches or listens to the Tigers. My Grandpa was a noted ball player and coach that drew respect from many. When living in Detroit, he rarely missed a home game. His sons, my uncles, also played and I was old enough to see their talent. Both of their sons were also stars and I loved cheering them on. My own Dad coached many champion ship teams with my brother playing. Sister Lisa, in lieu of a company Christmas party, loaded up a whole buss with employees and sojourned down for a Tigers game. I crashed the party and much hysteria ensued as it was some of the party's first Comerica Park experience. My, son was a great player and I was a great "team Mom." But instead of the usual pop and chips fare provided by most moms, I doled out natural juice and granola bars--much to my sons chagrin. Gotta eat healthy and grow to be big, bad, baseball players, I would remind them. The whole family would get to the games early and claim spots on the bench. Being in northern Michigan in May constituted the necessity of blankets and hats sometimes. But we persevered thru interminable t-ball games that were both really long and really BORING with little resemblance to the real game. But necessary to get the kids ready for the holy grail of Little League. When Dane pitched, I whoo hooed every strike and antagonized over every ball. There was a sorry incidence once, when he called a time out and stomped off the mound and over to the bench for a confab with me. Seems my loud --and in his opinion overzealous cheering was distracting him from his job. Well, EXCUSE me for livin'!!! As many of us can recall George and Ernie were the voices of summer, always on while Dad was grilling. When Alpena won the Junior Babe Ruth WORLD championships, well, I can tell you our whole town was upside down with baseball pride. Which brings me to the Pudge trade. I HATE trades cuz I get unnaturally attached to the players. I have a theory that I am sure would make more sense. I say, why don't we have a draft like in Little League? Coaches would one by one choose their players from the pool and what you ended up with, you had to coach. No more buying a team. Coaches would coach and train players in their weak spots and build the teams talent the old fashioned way. Players would be on the same team for five years and then we could have a re-draft. In the case of the Tigers, I would personally tend to their "hair needs" (Ah.h.h. Magglio) and also lead yoga classes!! I wouldn't have to see fan favorites like Pudge get sent off before I am ready. So, peace out Pudge, I will miss you with your talent, smile and reminder of who really gets the credit--by your sign of the cross. Our loss is New York's gain. xoxoxoo! Oh, and Whoo Hoo!

Can't get enough of your love, babe......

Our dear friends Kelly and Brian got married last weekend. It was a gorgeous day for a beautiful couple. A joyous occasion for a truly connected bride and groom--one that I was honored and proud to be a part of. Yes, I was a bridesmaid--quite possibly the oldest and surely the most jaded one ever. Weren't my shoes HOTT?!! But I digress. As a veteran bridesmaid, this event threw me into reflection on marriage and forever and ever til death parts us. Kelly and Brian have avoided most pitfalls going in as they are a little older than most "first timers", and have been friends first for years. Being more experienced in life, they possess communication and compromising skills that will carry them--also, they are so very much in LOVE. Although I completely support their union, I truly do not believe in marriage on the whole. It's just not for everybody. I think it's a lovely fairy tale with a 50/50 chance at best for success. We are SO destined to fail. So, here goes with my opinion, based on MUCH experience as well as some nature based reasoning. I recommend NEVER marrying before the age of 28 for women and, say, 30 for men. Why? Well, a woman does not even settle on her true personality till around that age. Many of us married young only to wake up one day asking "Who the hell are you?" in the mirror. A man, well, he needs to do what comes naturally and get it out of his system before even THINKING that he has a chance at fidelity. It's just the way we are drawn. I have a theory that marriage is the most unnatural union known to man because of this. Men were designed to "spread the seed" and populate the earth, while woman were set up to bear and nurture the little "seeds." Its just the nature of the beast. Sex and survival being two of our most powerful instincts, it's doomed to view it any other way. Basic and simple, and oh so true. Kinda like poundin' the square peg into the round hole. Anything after that is forced on us by societal rules that deem that we should do quite the opposite. Live together? Ha! How to go nuts in one easy lesson! I think the Native Americans probably had the right idea by housing the women in one tepee and the loincloths in another. Visits were open and liberal and nobody worried about picking up socks or leaving toilet seats up. No fighting over the remote, either. The guys could boast of their hunting and "seed spreading" conquests and the girls could gossip and nurture in peace. Worked for everybody. All doing what came naturally. Unlike us, they were not barraged with images that made them think they were missing something. Or, the pressures and temptations of working outside of the home, television, movies, magazines, computers, etc. And, blessed be, women's bodies were honored in their natural form. What you could see was what you got. So now that we are so "evolved", how can we make this thing work? And where does the love fit in? Love has to be in the form of acceptance, compromise, consideration and respect. And attraction. Kelly and Brian have shown all of these things and more. Everything it takes for a lifelong commitment and to this I say congrats and love, to you both. xoxo

It's My Party.....

So I had a birthday. A BIG one. Always one to keep 'em low key and fuss less, (read: NO PARTY!) this particular one was no different. MY rules. Or so I thought. The calls came in like crazy from friends and family with everyone expressing sympathy and support. A few (drunken!) songs were sung and my darling Emily, age 3, called to wish me a happy birthday, as no day is more important in a three year olds eyes. Some birthday e-mails from my more efficient techie friends. I have a pile of cards that never fail to tickle me. My 94 year young granny sends hers with a return address that simply says "Grandma". It strengthens my resolve every year to be more prompt sending cards cuz it's really cool to receive them on THE day, instead of a week or two late, which is sometimes my style. I recommend one of those calendar books with monthly pouches that hold the appropriate cards--you just have to remember to check it now an then!!! But the biggest surprise--and I usually HATE this sort of thing.... was walking into El Charo to meet my friend Rose, only to be greeted by a small party for a "Sex and the City" themed get together. (Smile and deep breaths, here). She recruited two other friends and it was margaritas around. Cosmos do not work with the Mexicano thing. There were toasts and delicious taste treats. Age comments were kept to a minimum. Rose treated me to a darling personal cake in my favorite flavors. The gifts were sweet and generous. It was truly fun. Now, I am not sure why I get the creepies at the thought of any party--surprise or otherwise--where I am the center of attention. Never having been one to shy away and have rarely "blended in" at any other time in my life, I rather prefer to control my own spotlight. And, I guess it's the old catholic guilt thing rearing it's sometimes ugly head but I just have a hard time when someone deems me worthy of such attention. My Mom is like that too, so I get it honest. It's okay for us to DO nice things, but it's hard to accept them back, along with the perceived pressure attached. This can range from compliments on our appearances to our cooking. Why? It's like some weird form of self flattery or denial or something. Buried under layers of old piousness or self sacrificing. In this world of self indulgence, it strikes me as a very dated ideal. Mine, nonetheless. Anyhoo, the revelry went into the evening with more food, drinks, toasts, gifts, etc. All thoughtful and designed for me. Arriving home tipsy and full, I realized that sometimes letting go of the control is nice and it's okay to give into it. Some things like birthdays are meant to be out of our control and for just one day, I let others do it their way for me. And this old girl LOVED it! Thanks to all of you that respected my NO PARTY wishes. Everything else you said and did was just perfect..Love to you all..xoxoxoxo