Babylon.....

I read a review on this movie, had my interest piqued, and finally got to see it. The film I am speaking of is, "Towelhead". If you haven't seen it, I urge you. The film was touted as child porn, depressing, distressing and exploitive, by some and thought provoking, raw, dark, graphic and real by others. Racism and symbolism aside, I wish to discuss the subject matter of the main characters abuse and "awakening." A wonderful cast handles very sensitive subject matter with care and class. Not your typical coming of age film, this story involves a 13 year old girl of American/Lebanese decent from a broken family. Not too much notable there-- except that she is highly sexualized for one of her age, and torn between her liberal Mom and very conservative Dad. I was still reading Nancy Drew at 13 with hardly a thought of sex. So very much a case for that was then, and this is now. We are all aware of the sexual images our kids are exposed to and even "family" movies like "Marley and Me" are full of sex speak and nudity. Girls are starting to mature much earlier than we did and their physical development is crazy! I'd like an opinion as to what it means that girls are now able to birth a baby at 9 years old. I guess the preservatives in our diets help to round out the little bods some. God knows, we were stick thin and had no need for "personal hygiene" items OR bras. Anyway, at first thought, it seemed like Jasira was used and definitely abused by men who should have known WAY better--even being provided with a magazine by the next door pedophile. But on my second viewing, I sort of got a different idea. She was a girl/women aware of her power over men and had no problem using it. She agreed to most encounters, and barely fought off the ones she didn't. Now, you will be thinking that she had no self esteem, but that is not what I got out of it at all. She was aware, curious, and willing. My point is that abstinence as birth control is insane. With reproduction being second only to survival--that is just ignorance giving way to hope. Human nature will override those promises any day. And in a world that bombards us with such images as normal, it makes for a perfect dichotomy. Our bodies tell us when the time is right for us, even if it is socially unacceptable--in our culture anyway. Yet another double standard between society and nature. This and the fact that a movie called "Mall Cop" was number one again at the box office, gives me serious pause. Please let me know what you think.. Stay warm. xo P.S. A heartfelt thanks to Officer Greg Tench of the Macomb County Sheriffs office for rescueing our precious Mickey who got turned around outside last Sunday. Also for Animal Control of Macomb County for treating him and us with compassion. At last, my tax dollars well spent! xoxoxo

Sign O' The Times.....

I hit the local stores last week and snatched up some real bargains. I do this twice a year, in January and then in June. If you know me, you already know that I NEVER pay full price for anything and am not opposed to "thrifting." Because I AM basically thrifty. There really is very little I really need in the way of clothes and such, so they have to almost give it away before I indulge. I can't stand lines or crowds, so it's a good thing I have the luxury of perusing during the week with less people to annoy me. And although I log 5 miles regularly on the path or treadmill, I like to park about 10 steps from the door of any store. Maybe cuz it allows for a quick escape, or at least a shorter walk carrying, oh, say 20 bags full of stuff. It's hard to believe that a store can sell merchandise at 70% off and still be profitable, but my short stint in retail taught me that that is exactly the case. Sweaters I would never pop $80.00 for are a must have at the reduced price of $12.00. I bought my son a watch that was 50% off then 20% off then an additional 10% off! I love it and so does He. Even Mickey got a snazzy new leash. Now, if it would just warm up enough for us to resume our walks, heh Mick? I love buying my gym wear at a deep discount, cuz really all you do is sweat it up. The fact that I go 5+ times a week, makes it necessary to own quite a few pieces--or constantly launder. I am a sucker for jewelry, hats, shoes, purses and accessories in general, so I feel way less guilty paying little or nothing for the stuff. I don't give a rats ass about $300.00 dollar purses or their cheap knockoffs. Sales of this type afford me decent bags that I won't be afraid to drop on the car or bar floor. I also grab up gift items for anyone appropriate and stow it away till birthday or Christmas. It's kinda like a little challenge to get the most bang for your buck. The only time I ever buy books at a "real" bookstore is when they are featured on the clearance table. I usually hit the thrift stores and eventually end up with my picks (I carry around a list) for $2.00 or less. Very important when you read with the voracity of a crack addict. It's a literary treasure hunt! I also find things at the thrift store for my brothers three kids. They love the care packages from Aunt Jodi and it just makes sense, cuz they are growing like weeds and my brother has no time or inclination to shop. My contribution the the green thing, too. And it cracks me up that while they are blowing the winter wear out the door, on the next rack the saleslady is putting out the swimwear. When I glance over she shrugs and says, "lot of people are going on cruises in February." Really. And buyin' up the bathing suits at FULL price. No way, babe--wrong price. And we don't even have to discuss the shopping killjoy of exposing pale, post holiday bods in small rooms with fluorescent lights. Not happenin'. Everybody knows if you have the sense got gave a chicken, you would have purchased the bikini at the end of June when they were 75% off and being sold while on the next rack the current winter coats were being sold. What a debacle. When we retire to the Keys, I hope to enjoy the climate that will basically allow for one type of clothes. So much simpler than this madness. Celebrate Martin Luther King Day and enjoy your dreams! xoxo

Is that all there is?.......

So, I guess I won't be using my 20% off coupon at Four Seasons Salon and Spa anytime soon. They were handing out the discounts at adjoining businesses in the shopping center, trying to help the new salon drum up customers. I was awakened from my afternoon lay down, by a text from my friend Brian, informing me of the bust in my (neighbor)hood. Yes, the worlds oldest profession was being practiced right here in my backyard. At the Four Seasons. How 'bout it? We have the usual, garden variety of local crimes your basic pot busts and such, but a "ring of prostitution"? Holy cats. When we had our business in Detroit, it was not unusual to see the girls plying their trade just outside our gate. Niecy and Strawberry were just good old gals, doin' what came naturally in the name of the almighty crack rock. But here in 'burbia? What will they think of next? As something still classified as a "victimless crime", I really don't know how I feel about it. The whole thing involves choices by all involved. The Four Seasons replaced a legitimate salon where the only crime perpetuated was customer no shows, and a less than 20% tip. Maybe a few highlights in questionable taste or a mullet or two in definite bad taste--but no "extra" services, if you know what I mean. So now, women with very little formal massage training, open up a salon and quickly have enough business to warrant complaints from neighbors suspecting something untoward was going on. In a rather high profile shopping center, near my friend Kroger, this service was being offered and apparently well received. The high overhead costs incurred in this location had to require business to be very brisk just to make rent--unlike Strawberry and Niecy with no overhead and prices starting at a very reasonable $5.00 on up. Can't even pretend to understand the financial complexities involved. I guess I feel sorry for anyone needing to frequent the place for anything more than a massage as well as the women who provide it. They probably were victims in their lives long before this unfortunate career choice. Abuse, poverty, drugs, and desperation can suck out all a women's self esteem and make prostitution a viable option. And the job market being at an all time low, doesn't help either. Too bad, sad, and pathetic. I can't imagine feeling that that's all there is. I enjoyed a regular massage from my regular girl, Darcy, last Friday. It felt wonderful and she was able to loosen my neck stress and lower back ache. She is someone I totally trust and feel comfortable with. And she is VERY good at what she does. But, as usual, I digress. I have no prophetic ending for this little news flash. Not even an amusing one. But I will say that I was naive in thinking it wouldn't go on here, under my nose. I hope these women will be able to pursue a healthier, safer, career in the future. And for the customers? You got lucky this time, unlike the women--victims once again. xo

Who's that girl?

So, 2008 out and 2009 in. Happy New Year. Whoo Hoo! I have never had a great love or respect for this inevitable event. Flip the calendar already! Years past I have endured every type of party imaginable, with having to drive home in blizzard conditions amongst drunk drivers. I hate the countdown, hats and noisemakers. As kids, we couldn't wait for Mom and Dad to come home and bring us those very goodies, knowing fully well that we would annoy the hell out of them all the next day when they would have very little tolerance for it. Then, finally, a long time ago, I put my foot down and refused most invites, and just stayed home or at the home of close friends. Although we had 2 other wonderful invites, (Bennie and Lori, and Bill and Cindy xoxo) we opted to go up north and welcome in the new year. Had a great time with friends where we skied, snomo'ed, and walked in the SNOWY woods. We braved lots of slopes and even tackled one black diamond, before retiring to the lodge to congratulate ourselves on our athletic prowess (and lack of gray matter). Rewarding ourselves with a fabulous hot cocoa (o.k., with Kahlua) in the lodge seemed the appropriate thing to do. The sight of so many pink cheeked families laughing and enjoying themselves was inspiring. My amigos and I trudged up a big hill and watched snowboarding daredevils do their thing. A gorgeous guy in black high tech gear, but wearing a Detroit Red Wings hat, did the portraits for us. (Thank you, hunky guy!) We bowled and golfed on the Wii, well, most everyone else did. I abhor all things video, except a good movie, and besides I have to put down my beverage and crossword puzzle to take a turn to PRETEND I am doing a sport. I did humor everyone--or rather amused them with my lack of care and competitive nature. Just not for me. Rather chill by the fireplace and contemplate or daydream. Our friends are fabulous cooks and treated us fabulously to their culinary expertise. I indulged all of my cravings and mused on how, come Monday, a serious effort to return to sensibility would take place. Don't worry, I won't go all "OPRAH" on you. I never make a resolution, per say, but I do pause to reflect on the past year. The coolest thing was starting to blog. I have made some friends that I look forward to visiting each day, as if I was their neighbor. Learning about others as well as myself is an enlightening exercise to say the least. I was privileged enough to visit a place I've always wanted--Costa Rica, and experience their way of living. Witnessed a historical election. Supported friends in their wedding. Cooked a turkey! Went to some great concerts. Walked approximately 750 miles on the Metro Parkway path with my good friends, Rose and Mickey. Read some great books--and some not so great ones. Ditto with the movies I saw. Enjoyed family. Ate well, loved well, and was loved well back. What more could I want? xo P.S. thank you, Jimmy, Pam and Mary xoxo!

And the beat goes on.........

Hope you are all surviving the season of our our indulgence. I myself am fried up, toasted oats and shaked, baked, frosted and salted. Done, finis. I am a creature of habit and schedule and all of this craziness and laziness does me in. Firstly, I get myself totally sleep deprived by participating in the hen party my Mom and I hold well into the wee hours and then resuming said party early in the morning. And bloated--can we talk? The food I looked forward to did not disappoint. My brother in law treated us all to a very decadent and delicious Christmas Eve dinner. And I ate the whole thing. Powerhouse Gym awaits me Monday and I plan to knock myself out. Bring it Trainer Tony!! I am including some pics for your giggle. How about that Mickey being a good sport and wearing his cute yet degrading reindeer ears. He totally worked his cuteness and figured out who to pimp for treats--Grampa and Aunt Lisa. Lola spent hours laying under the tree and enjoying the lights and such. The snow up north was incredible as witnessed in the pic of the snow cake, modeled by Carol Merrill. That said, I want to thank all of you, especially my faithful commenter's (xoxoxox!) for your support this past 10 months or so, and also for enduring my lengthy, Christmas memoir post. That thing took on a life of it's own! You have all inspired me by your generosity and humor. Love and Peace to all. xoxo P.S Happy Belated Birthday to my dear bud, Tim!

I'll be home for Christmas......

For the first time in years, my whole family will be together on Christmas. On December 24, along with a few other " blessed " events, the stars will line up and we will gather to celebrate. For me, this means the 229.9 mile trek up to Ossineke on Wednesday afternoon, which is currently in winter wonderland mode. I bore quickly with the ride, but as we approach, I admit to getting quite excited. Isn't the anticipation one of the best things about anything celebratory? We will arrive on Christmas Eve where everything must be EXACTLY as I remember it to be. We will descend like rock stars with family in the window cheering and waving. (What? No holding up of lighters?) We will drop our coats like like kids upon walking in the door. Shoes will be in a giant, snow melting pile for someone surely to trip over. My Mom will probably organize the mess before anyone trips and takes a header. It will smell positively delicious as something good will already be cooking. Various beverages (wine!) will be chilled and waiting. I may have called from Oscoda (40 miles south) to insure this is handled, as surely I will be PARCHED upon arrival. Lots of scurrying about getting glasses, ice, corkscrews etc. will be happening and everyone will be talking at once--which is normal for us. We will then converge (cocktails in hand) to the living room to admire the tree. Some of us will snoop for gifts. Then upon settling in to our usual spots, someone will tell my Dad to turn down the t.v. so we can hear each other without the aid of microphones or megaphones. Various snacks will prevent us from perishing before dinner is served. (Mom, again!) Someone will get us all a second round. Although we all talk often, we still find plenty to catch up on. And we are forced to find new subjects because talking about each other,when we are all there, is impossible. I will tell Mom her hair looks great, (true) and Dad will tell me that it looks as though I have lost weight. (untrue.) My brother will regale us with tales from the Ford auto sales front and my sister will fill us in on the holiday parties that she hosted at her restaurant. My brother in law, the dentist and chef extraordinaire, will have some recipes of interest for me and maybe some dental triumphs. Dane's beloved dog, Mickey will patrol all areas and make sure to hoover up all dropped "floor derves." Soon it will be dinner time and the table will be set with the Christmas dishes and again, we will sit in our usual places. Mom will say grace and we will demolish the wonderful food. Then, finally, the plate of Christmas cookies will be placed on the table. No matter how stuffed we are, the flavors of the past will come flooding back. My Mom had to hide them from us growing up, or they would never have made it to dessert time. We may have peppermint stick or spumoni ice cream. Eventually, in a tradition as old as time, the men will convene to the living room and the women will clean up the kitchen. At last, Mom, my sister, and I can chat without interruption! In our next lives we want to be men and just walk away from all domestic chores. NOT-we are all girly girls and have long since resigned ourselves to the injustice of it all. Later we might crack some champagne and toast to our fabulous selves. Some of my aunts and uncles may stop by and maybe a card game will start up. Or we will just tell our tales. Invariably my uncle or dad will have ran into an old friend of mine but will be unable to remember their name. I will guess until the mystery is solved. Not much else will happen. Maybe the cookie platter will appear again and I will have just one more. Like most holidays, we all sort of drift off. Christmas day comes early and we will commence again. Mom and I will go to early Mass while everyone else consumes massive amounts of coffee. We will pray for their lost souls. I will try not to cry at the beautiful spirituality of the mass as well as the families dressed in their holiday best, worshiping the reason for the season. Growing up, we would go to midnight mass and there would always be big, soft snowflakes coming down as we exited church. There were beautiful light displays on the way, and my favorite was the yard done in all blue lights. But I digress, as long as the little children do not sing "Away in a Manger," I should be okay. My Dad will make his famous "slumgullion" (a bacon, egg, potato, and onion dish) when we get home, and all will be stuffed once again. My brothers 3 boys will arrive and Christmas can officially begin. The kids truly are the whole fun of the day. We have planned a treasure hunt that they must follow to collect their gifts. This sort of drags the whole thing out and fills them with excitement. There will be moments where you will not be able to hear yourself think. Finally the gift segment of the day is over and we can commence to more food and drink-not necessarily in that order. If my Gramma Iola doesn't make it over, we will go and visit her. I treasure every year that we still have her with us. 94 years young and still hangin' tough. Rumor has it, she has made me my favorite, Norwegian cookies--berlinakrauncers. We will probably reminisce about the old days when we had Christmas Eve at her farm. She will marvel at how many details I can still remember. Then back to Mom and Dad's for yet another feed. Everyone will be crashing around the kitchen trying to get samples before dishes hit the table. Repeat last nights routine. Some one will wonder what time we are shoving off the next day, and we will probably decide on that. The weather will be checked to make sure we are not risking life and limb. In the morning, we will pack up and head out hopefully taking the left over cookies--if any are left. 229.9 miles later we will be home and start in on our own family celebration--a much quieter event. Dane will check to see what damage Lola has done to the tree in our absence. As things wind down, I will reflect on what a great holiday it has been. Nothing changes, really, thank the good Lord. Merry Christmas to all. Peace and Love, xoxoxo

It's Raining Men........

My dear blogfriend, "the walking man" has inspired me to write about gay rights. Regarding "calling in gay", in which WM's post explains rather logically and eloquently why it is not really up to us to judge, but rather accept all choices as a matter of human rights. By calling in gay, we could see how much and how very equal ALL people are. We would miss having our favorite bankers, actors, store clerks, real estate reps. etc. to make our days run smoothly. Please read his writing on this subject. It is right on and inspiring. Now, for a more emotional plea. Why, in God's name, could anyone have issue with gay marriage or gay rights? It's human marriage and human rights. All of my life, I have attracted and been attracted to friendships that could be considered on the fringe. I have been called a bleeding heart, underdog champion as well as that trendy, but insulting term--fag hag. Rather than labeling my friends as anything but friends was more the way I viewed it. I treasure these friends not for the exotic birds they may be, but as the unique, individuals that understand and are comfortable in their own skin. It makes for such a rich relationship when those layers can be peeled back and you can get to the good stuff. Kinda like a fresh, steamed, artichoke heart--understanding the thing lets you get to the heart of the matter with a hot butter bonus. A treasured friend has explained to me that he is not my "gay friend", but my friend who is gay. He doesn't wish to be identified by his sexuality any more than I do. The same friend also answered my question as to why I seem to attract such a varied group. His answer was that my acceptance of all people radiates from me and draws in people like a moth to a flame. I am trusting and trusted. It was probably the biggest compliment I have ever received. I have a uncle and his partner that have been in our lives since I was a child, and they are accepted as a loyal and loving couple. In fact, they have lasted longer than most hetero unions I know. Growing up, it was accepted as different, but okay. I was the "best woman" in a marriage of two of the most in love people I have ever met. The ceremony was touching and reverent and the day was joyous. All vestiges of "normal" nuptials were present--just with better decorations and music. The trials of everyday marriage seem to effect us all, across the board--but the genuine love and respect is evident. Two of my friends that married in San Fransisco have adopted a child born of a very disadvantaged mother, and have given her a loving, stable home. I used to babysit my friend when HE was adopted by my neighbors and now he has done the same for his daughter. How could anyone deem that this couple are not fit to parent this baby that would otherwise end up in the inadequate foster system? They love her wholly and I could not be more proud of them. (Check out his blog at The Daddies' Chronicles.) What cracks me up is the blockheads who think that the everyday banker, gym trainer, or landscaper is not gay or worse? Uh, HELLO. One in nine is the stat used for numbers on this reality. And who ever cares? I have heard a crude but true little ditty that says on this regard, "it's your mouth and I don't care if you haul coal with it." the quoted person means it--he truly doesn't care. Or how about the fools that somehow associate pedophilia with being gay. Totally unrelated. But as usual, ignorance breeds hatred. My mom would probably break the whole thing down to this simple thought, "if you can't say anything nice, than shut your mouth." I usually would agree to that but in this case I would prefer a different tactic. Please express your support as often as you can. We are One Human Family--a Key West motto. And as an old hippy, I maintain, all we need is love. xoxo P.S. A get well shout out to my darling Michelle (Michelle's Spell) who had an unfortunate surgery. Her creative and inspiring writing is missed as well as her lovely photos. Get feelin' better luv, we miss u. xoxoxoxo Dane says, "hopefully they gave you morphine." Damn kid! xoxo