I am feeling generally positive(ish) today. As most of you know, June fifth and sixth are the hardest and worst two days of the year for me. I struggle with emotions and well, a little self pity. Dane's angel date as well as his birthday are a double hit for me. Although I think of him every day-these days hit me very hard. In addition to just plain being lonely for him, I can't help but project on what could have been. I blink back tears as I see others enjoying their children and grandchildren while mourning that loss also. It doesn't get easier or fade away. But, life must go on as I live the reality I never expected to.
This year I was happy to be up north and surrounded by the love and support of my Mom and brother and sister. They share my grief and understand my sorrow. Family is truly all that is important in this crazy life we live. And I love them all very much.
But it's a new day and my roses and irises are in bloom. I am motivated to to enjoy the sunshine and look to brighter days.
P.S. Thank you to all of you who took a minute to reach out to me on Dane's days. It truly helps me to get through the pain. Love to you all from him and me. xoxo
2 comments:
The 5th is Noahs birthday and that is a big challenge for me as well. Celebrating Noah and mourning Dane. So, I’ve compartmentalized my feelings (that sounds healthy right?!) and decided to celebrate my boys’ birthdays instead. Dane brought so much to this world! I can’t feel the grief of a mother, I haven’t had to thank goodness, but you are always on my mind during those two days. Love you.
Hi Darling! I always think of Noah during this time. You need to celebrate him every day! I also use the compartmentalization method, or I'd never get out of bed. I am so happy to follow your journey of motherhood and life. Stay in touch, Babe. XO
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