Monday, July 15, 2019

Whole Lotta Shakin' Goin' On!

I count on Yahoo news to keep my abreast on all that's shakin'.  And apparently last week on Brighton Beach there was a whole lotta shakin' goin' on.

Seems that a man and a woman were having sex on a crowded beach.  The article gave us the mental image with very few details-.EXCEPT the most important thing...THE WOMAN WAS HOLDING A CAN OF LAGER.  Huh?  We already know she was naked and on her back but HOLDING A CAN OF LAGER was a detail that completed the picture.  Don't leave us hanging without expounding on this important tidbit!  They could have easily continued the story by giving us the exact brand and ounces of said beverage.  Import or domestic?  Was the can encased in a colorful coozie?  Maybe a clever 'Sex on the Beach' logo?   Was it was a lo-cal beverage because she surely wants to look her finest while having sex in public while HOLDING A CAN OF LAGER!!  Did she manage to not spill any lager and did she stop for a few sips while gettin' busy?

It kills me that there were no follow up details-such maybe visit from the police and a possible arrest or two?  Maybe a couple of new names on the sex offenders list?

Sheesh..the things that qualify as 'news' these days.  If you know how this epic ended up, tell me, please.  This inquiring mind wants to know!

Have a fantastic week and stay cool!  XO

Monday, July 8, 2019

Raise your Glass...

How to maximize a July 4th. holiday that already includes, BBQ's, bonfires, boating, beer and BOOM BOOMS?

Well, may I suggest piling into a giant floating pink flamingo?  Inflated, launched and named 'Karen' (for reasons I cannot share-this is a family blog!), she was ready to host the party.  Yep, on a perfect sunny day, we all moved the party to a giant bird that could be seen a mile away-we checked!  Tinkled pink just to be together, we toasted friendship, family and fun.  

Pinkies up and cheers to the red white and blue.  And don't forget about the pink!.  Karen's the name and floatins her game.   Happy July, Dollfriends!

Monday, July 1, 2019

Barracuda...

Man, how time flies…. Seems just like yesterday, (43 years ago!) on a 90 degree day in June, amidst puddles of sweat, we squirmed impatiently waiting to receive our 'walking papers.'  We threw our caps in the air and our robes in the return bin eager to get on with the big plans for our immediate future.  Bolting to Joni's Plymouth Barracuda, we cranked up a Heart song by the same name and headed over to the Sandie's for a quick dip.  We were young and free with not only the summer, but our whole lives ahead of us. But now, a skinny dip was in order with a bonfire later and most likely some Boone's Farm to boot.  It was the Bicentennial year and we were graduated and free to drink, vote, gamble.  Adults we were, and life was good.

On Sunday we celebrated our dear friend Lexi, with a fabulous party on a perfect day.  The kids tolerated us and our stories of our own launching into a world without the insulation of high school.  But the times have changed...I feel sorry that the innocence we had seems to be missing in the world that these kids have to embrace.  Their lives seem easier yet somehow harder.  Does that even make any sense?  Social media and life pressures adds a whole new color to their lives and I would not want to trade places with any of them.

Congrats, dear darling girl.  We are proud of you and can't wait to see what the future brings you.  The world is your oyster, and you can be anything you want to be.

And me? I'm just happy being old and having fond memories of the Sandie's and Boone's Farm.  Ahhhh, those were the days...

Have a great week. XO

Monday, June 24, 2019

Maybe it's Time...

Under the #whatthehellwasithinking....

My Mom and my sister, Lisa had a garage sale last weekend.  Yep.  Please do not judge my mental capacity based on this decision.  I have that assessment covered.

We are all a little crazy.  And so are the shoppers.  I was asked THREE times if I had any albums.  Ummmm….no, not since the eighties!

After a massive closet purge plus lots of items from my Ebay store, I thought it would be a great way to make a few bucks and continue my declutter.  These items were simply 'not sparking any joy' for me and it was hoped someone else could feel the joy.

The sale was to be had at my Mom's so we hauled the goods up and did a makeshift closet in her garage.  We sorted and organized.  We priced and displayed.  We took out an ad and posted signs with balloons.  It looked like a freakin' Macy's-if Macy's was clean and organized.

Friday the weather was perfection and sales were brisk.  Saturday was very quiet and we closed shop early.  All in all, financially it was worth the effort-mentally, not so much.  This little exercise in humanity has me exhausted.

Thanks to my Mom for hosting this lunacy.  I promise you, Mom, baring another break from reality-we won't do it again any time soon.  Have a great week, y'all.   XO

Tuesday, June 18, 2019

Shoulda Known Better...

For your amusement and amazement today I would like to share an experience I had while purchasing a simple futon.

After a futile local search, I went online to order the perfect piece.  The look of the futon was right plus the price point was perfect and I need extra sleeping space for the cottage.

So, I call to place my order.  Yes, the futon is in stock for advertised price.  "Okay, you realize that the drawers pictured are extra.  Do you still want them.?"  Yeah, I guess-thought they were built in.  "Would you like to add a mattress?"  Well, duh...I thought it came with.  Add one in, please.  "No you don't want the one pictured-it's like sleeping on a paper towel."  Uh, okay, I'll take the 'better' one. "Would you like a cover for the mattress?"  Oh, the one pictured isn't included?  "No, click here to see options."  Okay.  I'll take the blue and white striped cover.  "Did you want the stripes?  They are extra."  Huh?  "Yes, the stripes are custom piping."  Sheesh.... I'll take it.  "You realize that with the thicker mattress you will need an extra thick cover and it's an additional cost."  FINE.  "Now all you need is the grips that keep the mattress from slipping."  Sure, throw them there-Lord knows, I don't want anyone sliding off the futon.

Can you believe this?  By then I was so exhausted, that I just purchased at almost double the price advertised.  What a scam and I am the ultimate sap.  In all my years of retail, I never learned the art of the upsale to that degree.

So please, someone plan to come and stay at the cottage and sleep on that futon!  I can guarantee you won't slip off!

Have a wonderful week, Dolls.  I'll just be here....bein' a sap!  XO

Monday, June 10, 2019

Final Form...


You know....it's the little things.

How much smoother would life be if some of the small irritants disappeared and were never given another thought?

Passwords.  Can we talk about passwords.   Am I the only person who has issue with this?  10 accounts that I would prefer have the same password, keep checking and making me 'update' them for 'my safety.'  Even with noting the new one, I still routinely get locked out and have to come up with yet another password.  I have nothing sensitive and prefer NO password at all.  We have not had our identity stolen since before all this mess started.  Please.  Don't protect me.

Could just once could I rip off Saran Wrap or Tin Foil with a clean line and NOT cut my finger on that stupid metal strip that is barely fastened down.  A bleeding digit doesn't do much to aid my mood while attempting  to be a domestic goddess.

You know what else would help?  How about if we talked about books with the same fire as everybody droning on about Game of Thrones.  Geesh!  Next time someone asks you if you watch Game of Thrones, bore the life out of them with your current reading list.  Works every time.

Two lines of service open at the grocery store and 10 lines for self serve.  No, I don't want to serve myself unless there is a sizable discount for my scanning efforts.  I never once have gotten thru the process without a person coming over to void something.  I say we all revolt and make this madness stop.

The fact that my various (9!) hair appliances do not have retractable cords and no matter how carefully I wrap them up, the irons and such lay in a giant jumble at the bottom of the drawer.  Please-this seems to be a reasonably easy fix.

By now you are thinking that I need a nap and/or a glass of w(h)ine.  And you would be correct.
See you next week when I don't have the Rainy Days and Mondays crabbiness.

Monday, June 3, 2019

Into the Mystic...

My precious Son.

Dane Jacobs
6-6-1983 to 6-5-2014

Hark, now hear the sailors cry
Smell the sea and feel the sky
Let your soul and spirit fly
into the mystic.

I love and miss you every minute with every breath I take.
All love, till we are together again.

Love, your Mom XO