Our dear friends Kelly and Brian got married last weekend. It was a gorgeous day for a beautiful couple. A joyous occasion for a truly connected bride and groom--one that I was honored and proud to be a part of. Yes, I was a bridesmaid--quite possibly the oldest and surely the most jaded one ever. Weren't my shoes HOTT?!! But I digress. As a veteran bridesmaid, this event threw me into reflection on marriage and forever and ever til death parts us. Kelly and Brian have avoided most pitfalls going in as they are a little older than most "first timers", and have been friends first for years. Being more experienced in life, they possess communication and compromising skills that will carry them--also, they are so very much in LOVE. Although I completely support their union, I truly do not believe in marriage on the whole. It's just not for everybody. I think it's a lovely fairy tale with a 50/50 chance at best for success. We are SO destined to fail. So, here goes with my opinion, based on MUCH experience as well as some nature based reasoning. I recommend NEVER marrying before the age of 28 for women and, say, 30 for men. Why? Well, a woman does not even settle on her true personality till around that age. Many of us married young only to wake up one day asking "Who the hell are you?" in the mirror. A man, well, he needs to do what comes naturally and get it out of his system before even THINKING that he has a chance at fidelity. It's just the way we are drawn. I have a theory that marriage is the most unnatural union known to man because of this. Men were designed to "spread the seed" and populate the earth, while woman were set up to bear and nurture the little "seeds." Its just the nature of the beast. Sex and survival being two of our most powerful instincts, it's doomed to view it any other way. Basic and simple, and oh so true. Kinda like poundin' the square peg into the round hole. Anything after that is forced on us by societal rules that deem that we should do quite the opposite. Live together? Ha! How to go nuts in one easy lesson! I think the Native Americans probably had the right idea by housing the women in one tepee and the loincloths in another. Visits were open and liberal and nobody worried about picking up socks or leaving toilet seats up. No fighting over the remote, either. The guys could boast of their hunting and "seed spreading" conquests and the girls could gossip and nurture in peace. Worked for everybody. All doing what came naturally. Unlike us, they were not barraged with images that made them think they were missing something. Or, the pressures and temptations of working outside of the home, television, movies, magazines, computers, etc. And, blessed be, women's bodies were honored in their natural form. What you could see was what you got. So now that we are so "evolved", how can we make this thing work? And where does the love fit in? Love has to be in the form of acceptance, compromise, consideration and respect. And attraction. Kelly and Brian have shown all of these things and more. Everything it takes for a lifelong commitment and to this I say congrats and love, to you both. xoxo
3 comments:
Hey beautiful Jodi,
Couldn't agree more with this one! Especially about the personality stuff -- I only realized who I was (in the most elementary way) when I was thirty. My first marriage wasn't great in large part because of this fact. LOVE the shoes!
Love the sexy shoes!! Nice choice with the dress!! Marriage is a wonderful thing but forever is a long time. It would be much easier if the husbands all lived somewhere else and just came to visit. Best wishes to those who make it for the long haul.
Marriage isn't easy, that's for sure. Did you know that a study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle. It was discovered that if the female is ovulating, she is attracted to males with rugged and masculine features. However, if she is menstruating, or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and a spear lodged in his chest while he is on fire. No further studies are expected.... just had to share that. See ya!
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