Monday, April 19, 2010

Do You Feel Like We Do?...(live version, of course!)


Recently I filled out my fourth application for jury duty. What the hey? I have already been chosen as a juror three times and I think I have done my duty. I know people who have never even served one time. Of course, I am always worried that said duty will interfere with a vacation or a possibility of messing up a nice Friday afternoon getting ready to head up to the beach house..

The first time, when I lived up north, I was very excited to be a part of the process and actually looked forward to it. My employer paid my wages for the time and I didn't have to count it as vacation or sick days. I sat thru days of the choosing process only to discover that the person on trial was a close, personal friend. I was promptly excused even though my friend had hoped I could get him off the drunk driving offense. Your on your own dude--I am so outta here! I collected my $14.00 from the court for two days 'work' and was on my way.

The second time I was called to serve, was also in Alpena, and the case was much more involved. This time I was chosen for the whole enchilada. I think the dude was definitely guilty, but he had a much better lawyer and got off quite lightly. That or the fact that the judge snored thru most of the arguments. I was doing hair at the time, on a commission only basis, so I lost wages for three whole days and the paltry $21.00 was an insult.

The next time I was called I had a vacation scheduled and the judge took pity on me and excused me. Whoo Hoo! Start the party early!

Under Judge Maceroni, (who I LOVED) I was chosen and heard a very interesting case involving a Detroit crack whore, her pimp, and the dude they rolled and stole the car from. It was crazy and very revealing. Apparently that poor, brazen, girl was so beat down that nothing could embarrass her. She told ALL. Anywhoo, the Judge took pity on us and after 5 days, insisted that we wrap this thing up. The payment had went up to $12.00 a day, so being unemployed, I took my check and ran. Hardly late for cocktail hour, thank you very much!

So now I read about the juror that was intoxicated and released from her duties. I've heard many excuses to get out of duty, but this one, by far, was the most effective. And newsworthy. While I still don't understand how I keep getting picked, (my son thinks my social liberalness visibly oozes from my pores!), I think I'll just serve away and save the cocktailia for after the gavel bangs...Enjoy our beautiful weather--it's only gonna get better! xo


8 comments:

the walking man said...

After the need for a special chair and frequent rest room breaks were expressed to the court I was excused permanently. Never did get picked though the 5 times i was called out.

Charles Gramlich said...

The first time I was called I managed to get out of it, but that appeared to be a mistake because I got called again and again and again after that. I finally sat on a jury and that seems to have stopped it.

Erik Donald France said...

Ooh these are good. I don't mind jury duty just for variety. Did it twice in downtown Detroit but never had to sit through a trial. Once was tossed out because a young hooligan had attempted to steal my car (the defense thought I might be biased against another such hooligan) and once for making a sarcastic quip. Oh well, I tried to do a civic duty . . . you takes your chances and collect a handful of dimes for the effort . . .

JR's Thumbprints said...

My number never seems to come up. I think it has something to do with working for the Michigan Department of Corrections. I could be wrong.

Heff said...

I've been fortunate for the most part, and have only been called ONCE, but I got put on the Grand Jury, and had to stay ALL WEEK. I think I netted eighty bucks, lol.

rosegarden said...

I have only been called once and it was for the local court. They had more than enough jurors show up and not enough cases so I got to go home. Never been called for anything else.

jodi said...

Mark, too bad! You would be an excellent juror! Charles, that just doesn't seem to work for me! Erik, I would like to do the duty with you, and hear all your good snarky comments. It would be a blast! JR, I think you are probably right. You are inherently tainted! Hef, OOOOh! I wanna do a Grand Jury! Isn't the money a joke? Rose, I am gonna recommend you to the court! xoxo to all and thanks for your always amusing input! Luv it! xo

Heff said...

I just noticed what appears to be a "Warhol" picture of a CAT behind you, lol !!!