The Boxer...

So, ya wanna go a few rounds?  Bring it baybee!  Float like a butterfly; sting like a bee.  Rope a dope and  keep your eye on the bubblegum pinks, cuz yer goin' dowwwnnnnnn!  Shits about to get real.

Along with being a roller derby bad ass, I've always had an interest in boxing.  I love professional matches old skool style-where the fights weren't as fixed and the refs not as quick to call it.  The fitness-both mental and physical required to go the distance amazes me.

Not sure how long I've been at it, but I'm guessing 6 years or so.  I've read that a rookie boxer sometimes works a whole year learning one punch before he is allowed to learn another.  The form is that particular.  Instructor Kurt Carlos is the fourth teacher I've had and he is breaking it down and workin' us hard.  He concentrates on form and will not let me hit like a girl. Along with bag work, we are sparring and moving around more which is a whole new level of concentration.  Our 'rounds' are both exhilarating and exhausting.  Surviving our 'match' is very empowering-and very humbling.  But I love it and there's a chance I may even be improving!

In a way, boxing is like yoga for me.  It's sort of like a little Geiger counter that measures where I am mentally that  day.  Am I up for the challenge?  Can I stay motivated in the moment and concentrate on form solely?  Can I tune out everything but the beat of the music and Kurt's instructions?  And can I last on that last 10 second countdown? 

And the best part is the end, when we bump gloves and enjoy the buzz that comes with knowing you just worked very hard.  The sweat is pouring off  us and water never tasted sweeter.  It turns my day around,  and the world doesn't seem so bad. 

Thanks, Kurt.  You rock. xo

How Can You Mend a Broken Heart?...

 Like a mirror in a fun house, my world seems distorted.  The angles and pieces of my life do not fit together.  Things can be one normal one moment, and then like the giant wave that comes every 15 minutes at 'Typhoon Lagoon', the grief almost knocks me down.  Eating cotton candy, an elephant, a coney dog and a candy apple, would not give me a worse stomach ache.  The finality is slipping in a little at a time and I catch myself expecting his normal calls.  It's a cycle that spins with questions as unrelenting and nauseating as the teacup ride.  The 'what ifs', and 'maybe ifs', and 'if only's' circle my brain like a carousel, round and round and up and down.  Mood swings go up to the top  of this roller coaster when I maniacally try to  get-it-all done,  and then plummet down, finding myself curled up in the fetal position and playing my own version of home movies in my head.  Neither offer relief.  I know it will get easier, well meaning people have told me that, along with the fact that 'he is not longer in pain'.  The zombie in this haunted house, is me as I feel like  a part of me has been cut off.  Wounded,  broke and bleeding, dizzy and sick, I move thru my days.  I pray for the strength to make some sense of this nightmare.

 

Sweet Child O' Mine...

Dane Andrew Jacobs

June 6, 1983-June 5, 2014

Rest in peace our precious son.

Hugs and kisses

 

Please check out The Walking Man blog to read the beautiful tribute to my son that Mark wrote.

Every Day is a Winding Road...

What's the t.v. show or movie that you will stop at anytime you find yourself randomly channel surfing?  Fox 2 News last week focused on just that question.  Big day in the news world, huh?  The 'talking heads' conferred and agreed that 'Shawshank Redemption' was the one movie they will always stop on.  Lucky for them, its on almost every day on various channels.  Lucky for me, it's also a favorite.

My Dad would watch 'The Outlaw Josey Wales' and love it each and every time.  My son will watch 'Office Space' and 'The Big Lebowski' ad nauseum along with anything by Guy Ritchie.   Randy will watch 'Waterworld' and any of the 'Kill Bills' without once tiring of the craziness.  Same goes for 'Pulp Fiction'.

 I cannot resist either of the 'Sex and the City' movies and the series that I practically know by heart can still make me giggle.  As many times as I've seen those shows, I still find something new-usually.  'Legend of the Fall' is so beautifully done, that I never tire of it.  I also have seen 'Sling Blade' a thousand times and I also watch 'Erin Brockovitch' whenever I want background sound.  (It's on right now!)  "Casino' and 'Goodfellas' both amaze and stun me.  I sometimes watch a 'Snapped' marathon marveling at how dumb and desperate people think they can outsmart detectives and d.n.a.  'Cops' is my total guilty pleasure.  And I've mentioned before, I love 'Rehab Addict' and cheer on every victory Nicole Curtis has while rehabbing her houses.  When cooking dinner I sometimes have 'Friends' reruns on and I can't believe at how originally I thought this show was funny.  It's now unrealistic and sophomoric on most levels, but, inexplicably, I still leave it on. 

So what's your favorite?  Do you have a show or movie that is irresistible to you?  Oh, and one last question.  Do you fall asleep with the t.v. on?  I, myself, cannot sleep with the tube on.  It makes me restless and gives me crazy dreams.

Can't wait to hear from y'all.  But right now, I've got to go.  Erin is about to get her 2 million dollar check and I can't miss it!

Oh my gosh... Just popped back on to amend something.  How could I forget 'Saturday Night Fever'?  I love, love, love it.  And my all time fave-a drum roll here-'Gone with the Wind'.  Scarlett is my girl .  She is both glamorous and frivolous-two irresistible qualities!  xoxo