In Ossineke, where I 'come from', there is a definite speech pattern used that I never fully realized till I moved 'down here.' Yes, anything south of Standish, Michigan is considered "the city" to my up north friends and family. Now, I do not mean to paint us a people described in some Jeff Foxworthy stand up about being a redneck. You be the judge....
It's more like a certain colorful vernacular that we use to spice up an otherwise regular sentance. Very metiphorical. Colliquial expressions abound. (o.k. my Son gave me that one!) I have a cousin who is a speech therapist "down here" and she dissolves into giggles when visiting my family. I think it's quite regional and very slang-like. SHE thinks is cute AND hilarious.
Let me explain. A typical convo could go something like this: my brother, the Ford salesman could say, "you won't believe who I sold a new Lincoln to today. Yes, after hours of dickering on the thing, Blahblahblah actually signed on the line." My Dad would say, "that cheap bastard. He's tighter than the nuts on the Mackinaw Bridge." Yessiree-that's pretty damn tight. Or maybe this: baby Ethan fell and hit his head on the glass coffee table and didn't even wimper. Someone will probably reply, "yeah, that kid is tougher than a boiled owl." Or a two dollar steak. Yes, and he IS wilder'n a March hare. A friend with 5 kids has had to pick up a couple of side jobs. This would deem him 'busier than a one legged man in an ass kickin' contest.' If the extra income is not procured, the very same dude is described as 'lazier'n a cut dog.' (Cut meaning spayed or neutered.) Yes, someone surely will concur that he is so lazy that he would shit in bed and kick it out with his foot. Hmm mm m. Many a Monday mornings have necessitated a person to self diagnosis himself having a case of "anal glaucoma". This happens if you just can't see your ass going to work that day. For sure! Some things are harder than Chinese arithmetic. And the poor dudes Parkinson's has him shakin' 'like a dog shittin' peach seeds!" Very charming. There are even VERY un-political correct nuggets known to be heard around. Moonless nights that are 'blacker'n Toby's ass.' Or the uncle who is 'queer'n a two dollar bill.' Don't say I didn't warn you.
They say you can never go home, but you can occasionally speak like it. I have to admit that old habits are hard to break and I sometimes slip into 'em just like an accent I can't quite shake. Kinda like right now, when I am as 'tired as last years fashions.' Have a great week and a belated "Happy Sweetest Day" to all my sweeties. xoxo
12 comments:
I totally get this. I've traveled so much that I've lost a lot of my Southern accent but when I get around my family, you'd think I was Scarlett O'Hara.
In the Thumb Area I've heard this quite often: Youz guys (instead of 'You guys.') Or something like this: "How're youz doing today?" Is it lazy talk, or is our language morphing into something else?
One I hear down here is "useless as tits on a boar hog."
LOL! those are such unique metaphors!
Well all I know is I'm luckier than a dog with two dicks to have found you cause you certainly ain't as ugly as a bucket of fried spiders.
If there's a ever a Detroit blogging meetup, I might have to make my way over there. After all, Chicago is just a stone's throw and a pistol shot away.
(Yeah, I got a ton of 'em my own damn self and I use them regularly in conversation also)
At your cervix, Wil
Wil Harrison.com
I love regional variations. It keeps things lively. "Rarer than a hen's tooth" is a good one.
Youz guys a la Jim's was big in the Pcconos in eastern PA. Things like sweeper vs. vacuum, pop vs. soda, sack vs. bag, buggy vs. cart -- it's all good! Coffin vs. casket, trash vs. garbage vs. rubbish . . . Love it all.
Cheers, happy sweetest day, watch out for Detroit marathons and reamkes of lousy movies (Red Dawn, now it's the Chinese coming instead of the Russkies. Hell, they already OWN half the USA, why invade?)!
A Bill Clintonism: That dog don't hunt . . .
I gotta get out more.
Although I do agree that we have a lot of unique descriptive terms here in the "Great White" North. I can honestly say I am not familiar with the ones you provided for our enjoyment. Except maybe the 2 dollar bill one. So let me add a few I do know. Dumber than a box or rocks, So tight they squeal when thy walk,1/2 a bubble off plumb, crazier than a Hoot Owl, Has a Large dose of Crazy. Buzier than a one armed paper hanger. Just a few more to ponder. And the ever present Ewes Guys as in are Ewes Guys ready to order.
Jodi - this made me laugh and think of all the "bob-isms" we started writing down when grandpa died. Thanks for the laugh - Kel
Did you get the video of Ruger last night?
better than a sharp stick in the eye, does a bear poop in the woods, is the pope catholic. dummer than a box of rocks, just a few I know. We could go on and on.
Peachie, Enjoy a Mint Julep, Girl! JR-I know that one too! Try very hard not too slip into it! Charles--or 'tit's on a nun'! Mona-do you have one to add? Wil-someday we WIL get together, after all, we are just a stumble and a crawl away! (I'll ignore the 'cervix' thing)Erik-You got it! Detroit is one busy place-and don't ya know 3 people would tragically die in our marathon. My boxing instrutor is in 3 scenes in Red Dawn! Mark-when we goin'? Anon-those I listed may be specific to MY family, but trust me, it's just the tip of their iceberg! Kels, I LOVE a good Grampa Bob story! Rose-faster than two chicks in a fastener department? teehee! Thanks for all the cute comments. I loves y'all! xo
looks like you're having a good time in that picture...hehehehe
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