Monday, July 20, 2015

Strip it Down...

WARNING!!!  To all my loyal male readers-you just might want to sit this one out.  Avert your eyes.  Skip it.  Take a week off from the jspot.  Or, just be brave and forge on.  This is territory that will probably make you squirm.  Welcome to my world...

I have had it with the inappropriate, unnecessary insulting, and embarrassing commercials about feminine hygiene.  Really, it's just us chicks that need to be concerned about things 'downtown'?  As if!  C'mon.  What man is writing these things?

Okay, all the girls playing sports in white clothes during their 'time' is understandable, but we get it and know how to shop for it.  It's required and we handle it without outside advice.

Now, can we just talk about 'Poise' pads.  Honey, it's got nuthin' to do with poise.  And, again, we got this.  Don't men ever have those issues?  A little 'unpoised' moment?  Do they maybe need a little pad in the boxers?  I don't know and I don't think I want to.

Vagisil-that itch you can't scratch and that embarrassing odor.  Really?  Cuz I've seen more dudes openly takin' a quick paw at their stuff with little or no embarrassment!  I bet that not once have those funky monkey's considered the need for a little freshener!

And how about the three girls that come out and stand behind three topiary plants?  Well-not to worry ladies, Schick has come out with a handy dandy razor that is perfect for trimming up your little 'bushes'.  Really, now.  I can bet there are plenty of guys that could use a little manscaping, but somehow they simply are not called upon to get those hedges in shape.  It's okay boys-you can borrow our Schick or just fire up the weed whacker!

I find the whole subject so totally sexist.  I think that all 'areas' deserve to be ummm...groomed and fresh.  Not just Miss Kitty.

Oh, and don't let me forget my favorite.  I can't think that we need to discuss our vaginal meshes, bladder slings and the possibilities of lawsuits regarding these things.  Until men start meshing, suspending and shoring up their junk-I DON'T WANT TO GO THERE!  Sheesh....

Okay, that's my rant for the week.  Guys, be a sport, and please consider your possible  need for a trim here, a little pad there and spritz everywhere.  Hygiene equality for all, I say! 

Just don't say I didn't warn you.

OX for all you dudes that made it thru!  You are among the few and brave.  And I love ya all.

5 comments:

Charles Gramlich said...

I must admit, I read it with one eye closed!

the walking man said...

Whatever--my favorite commercials where it takes longer to list the "possible" side affects than it does to advertise the product.

No topic is sacred or reserved for parent to child discussion anymore, we have become quite comfortable letting the TV and the BFF's tell our kids the ins and outs. Pun intended.

Erik Donald France said...

Haha ~ wicked! And all true. Such ads are exactly as you say . . . I suppose it's still "A Man's World" when it comes to advertising . . . last I read, 7% of all directors are women. 93% men.

Cheryl said...

OMG, I am laughing my ass off at this blog post. But you are totally right on sissy! Enough of the commercials about all of your stuff!

jodi said...

Charles-I knew it would make you squirm-but I can bet Ms. Lana gets it!! Mark- I know! The side effects are the best part. Dane used to bust out in uncontrollable giggles at the 'possible uncontrollable bowel movements'! Erik-Those numbers make perfect sense! I just couldn't resist the bitchin'! Where has our class gone? IBU RISKA-?? No speaka da language! Sissy-glad you got a giggle, Girl! Ya all have a wonderful week-I love ya to death! xo